Grateful

All month long on Facebook some of my friends have been posting everyday about what they are grateful for. I doubt I could keep that up all month long, but since today is Thanksgiving I thought I'd list what I am grateful for.

My husband. BT is seriously a good guy and is a great husband and father. He is the kind of man I hope Bub grows up to be and the kind of man I hope Button marries (if she is so inclined). On any given day, he is doing schoolwork, watching our daughter, doing laundry, cooking dinner or doing homework with Bub. Not that he doesn't have his faults, but he is a true partner and I am thankful for that.

My children. They are the light in my life. I try not to think about what I'm missing when I am at work and away from them but sometimes I let it get to me and I miss them. I try to spend as much time paying attention to them as I can when I am with them though. They are the best thing I've ever done and there are really no words for how much I love them.

My parents. They do so much for us and I don't know if I can every repay them for their time and their generosity, helping us out when we were in a bad place last year. They are always willing to watch their grandchildren or let us hang out over there. My mother is the kind of mother I strive to be. I have never doubted her love for me or her willingness to be there for me. And my parents have never made me feel like an inconvenience or like now that I am grown I am unwanted. They, especially my mom, have always made me feel wanted.

My sister. We haven't always gotten along. In fact, it wasn't until recently that we have become really good friends. It was a rough time growing up but now I can honestly say she is one of my best friends. She moved back to Louisiana from Oklahoma last year and it looked like she moving back again recently and I found myself praying everyday that she would get another job in Louisiana and thou and behold she did and I am relieved and happy that she will be staying. She is an amazing aunt to my son and daughter and Bub loves her so much. She spends so much time with him and he looks for her when she is gone. Thick as thieves, those two are and it is wonderful to behold.

My cousin. My cousin and I are 15 months apart and we have been best friends since she was born. She is the person I share a brain with as our family likes to say and she is the person who always gets it. She lives in Oklahoma so growing up we saw each other like twice a year and that number has remained the same as we have gotten older. I don't get to visit her as much as I like but it is always fun when I do see her. Now she is pregnant with her first child and I cannot wait til she is a mother and we can share in that experience too.

The rest of our family and friends. We are surrounded by people who we love and who love us back which is a wonderful thing and something I try not to take for granted. I truly cannot wish for better people. We may not see everyone a lot but when we do it is great. BT's parents are always happy to see us, especially their grandchildren, and I love how much they love them.

My job and BT's job. It's not until you lose something that you really appreciate it. Last year BT lost his job and it is one of the hardest things. So I am grateful for my job and the money it gives us and the house it pays for and the bed I get to sleep in. I am grateful for his job and the money it gives us and the groceries it buys and the food we get to eat every night. I am grateful for the work friends I have who make it ok to get up and go to work and leave my children for the day. Am I in love with my job? No. There are problems as always but it provides me with a purpose beyond my family and it teaches me what I really want in a workplace and has made me a better manager and a more tactful person.

Mostly I am thankful for being loved and having people to love. I am grateful I have a house and a bed and pets. I am grateful I have nice clothes and have shoes and socks. I am grateful I have a car to drive and books to read and that I can read and write and type. I am grateful for dance parties with my children and Eskimo kisses and hugs and "I love you too Mom" and nursing my daughter and cuddles. I am grateful that I can buy nice things for my children and my niece and nephew. I am grateful that sometimes our parents will take us out to lunch and that my mom will take the kids to her house when I am sick so I can take a nap. I am grateful my sister likes to take her nephew places so I am not always the one amusing him. I am grateful that my parents come to all his soccer and/or tee ball games. I am grateful that BT's parents will drive over to see him play even if it is just once a season. I am grateful that they like to take him to Florida once a summer so he can go to the beach even if I can't and that one day they want to take him to Europe because I don't know if I will ever be able to provide that kind of experience and I want him, I want them, to see the world. I am grateful for all the million and one tiny moments in life that make life worth living.

I am grateful. I am thankful.

First big trip

I'm taking Button to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving and some other family related parties that will be going on that weekend. It's about a 9 hour drive but we are stopping in Texas to spend the night. I'm a bit nervous to take her on such a long drive. You can't just plug in a DVD player for a baby like you can for a kid. I know she will sleep a lot and that either me or my mom will have to sit in the back with her sometimes because she hates being alone. I think she would cry more in the car except she usually has her brother with her and he will talk to her and pat her occasionally. But he is already gone so she will be alone back there.

I don't think I would be making this trip if she were any younger. Now that she is almost 8 months she can go longer without nursing and my milk is so established that engorgement is rarely a problem. But if she were less than 3 months I doubt we would be making this trip. It would be too hard on both of us. I'm hoping now that she is "older" she will fine. But the longest she's been a car is 2 1/2 hours so I guess we will see. Because the trip home will be made all in one day.  Now that is going to be the real adventure.

Sweet TV

I don't get to watch a lot of TV for myself. I mean I watch a lot of children's television and movies but there are not a lot of show I watch for myself. I'm about 15 episodes behind on Once Upon a Time though I am determined not to give up on that show. But what's funny is that even though I won't sit down and watch a TV drama, I will sit down and watch cooking competitions. Baking competitions specifically. 

My favorite show is Cupcake Wars. I don't know why. Maybe because in a world where I have money and time, I would open a cupcake food truck. I think I would love that. Anyway, I love watching them come up and make these delicious looking and sounding cupcakes. The cupcake, in my opinion, is the perfect dessert. And you always know when a baker messes up. I mean honestly no more strawberry and champagne or red velvet. And always brand your display final competitors. Have you never watch this show before!?

My new favorite is Sweet Genius. I just started watching that recently. But it is fun and I like the different rounds of the show and watching the chefs/cooks incorporate the weirdest things into their desserts. The candy level is really interesting, but all of them are really cool. Ron Ben-Israel is really a character and I like the faces he makes and his commentary on the desserts presented and when he is watching them cook.

And while I worry about watching regular TV with my son because you never know what is going to happen or be said on a drama or comedy, baking competitions are pretty safe. So one day I will get around to Once Upon a Time or finished Eureka or Warehouse 13 but for right now a little sweet TV is just the thing.

Nursing in public (part 2)

I wrote before about how nursing in public makes me uncomfortable. Not other people doing it but me. It has been something I have struggled with. I am not down with making my breastfeeding a political statement like some people are. I just really want to feed my kid. I'm proud to say that I am making advances. I have actually nursed Button in public (with a cover) twice at the zoo. I am very much not a look at me type of person so this is a big deal for me. The first time Bub was playing on the playground and Button was getting hungry/tired and she kept pawing at me and diving for my chest so I took her to one of the benches under the play structure and just fed her there. It was super busy  but nobody really even looked and if there were comments I didn't hear them. The second time was a similar situation but it was less busy and I'm pretty sure an older lady mentioned to her husband while they played with their grandchild. But we made eye contact and she didn't seem too bothered by it. So it was a victory for me.

I still am not up for just plopping myself down in the middle of a restaurant or park and certainly none of this will ever happen without a cover. But now that the weather is nice I don't mind nursing her in the car (sans cover actually) like I did on a visit to a local Pumpkin Patch to pick up Halloween pumpkins. And I don't mind finding a quiet corner somewhere in public. I feel like though I am getting more comfortable at feeding her without feeling embarrassed.

Stages

I read an article once in a parenting magazine that talk about the different stages of baby/toddlerhood  and how parents felt about them. It said that most parents have a favorite stage. Like most new moms, I was a little offended that a magazine would suggest that every stage of my precious boy's life wouldn't be my favorite. But it turns out that it is true. I am really not a fan of the newborn stage, a little more okay with the 3 months point and I love 6 months to about a year.

The newborn stage is my least favorite because it is so exhausting. Looking back it is hard to even contemplate how exhausted I was. After Bub I always said I wouldn't have another one til I forgot how tired I was. So yeah, it took 5 years. Newborns are just not like anything. They have no function but it eat, sleep and cry. They look funny all scrunched up and swollen and they are spastic because they have no motor control. Not to say that I didn't find my sweet babies adorable. It's just that, in hindsight, they definitely got cuter the older they got. The plus side is that you can leave on the bed and they will still be there when you get back. Also luckily for me they both slept through the night at 2 months. Of course, I let them sleep in the swing which might be a no-no but at that point I was willing to let them do whatever it took to get a little extra shuteye. And then they were both in their cribs by 4 months. There were/are still some difficulties with that but it works for the most part.

About 3 months is when they started to get awesome. There were genuine smiles and laughter and they were much more interactive. It's about when they start to feel less delicate and can start to hold their own head.  And they start to look more like babies and less like scrunching things. Of course this is when they start rolling over increasing the difficulty level. No more leaving them alone and expecting them to stay put.


But 6 months and on is my favorite. That is when they can sit on their own and will really play with you. Button is getting close to 8 months now and she is sitting and grabbing for things. She babbles a lot and can say a few words. She likes eating and it is fun to watch her with some cauliflower or Cheerios. Crawling will come soon and that in itself is another challenge because then Miss Nosy Parker will be into everything. But it is so fun to watch her learn and explore even if that means she is going to empty the cabinets of everything or try to use the mouse on the laptop. And I loved playing hide and go seek with Bub once he learned to crawl and I'm looking forward to it again. So many cute moments come once they hit this age and beyond. Until they get to the terrible toddler years but that is a different topic.