One Word

Last year I choose "optimism/acceptance" as my word for the year. I don't know if I entirely succeeded in living out that word. I always have a desire for things to be better or easier or at least not as hard. But I tried my best and I feel like I'm in a decent place with work and home and the balance between. It also helped having one of the more negative influences at work move on and be replaced with a positive and fun person. I didn't realize how much she was bringing me down until she was gone.

But recently I read a book called We Were Liars by E. Lockhart and in it a supporting character tells the main character to be a little kinder than you have to and I have been thinking about that ever since. And when I googled that this quote from J.M. Barrie came up:

“Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” So true.

So my word for this year is Kinder. I would like to be kinder. By nature I am generous. I liked making and giving and helping. But am I kind enough? I don't feel like I am. I can be so judgmental and harsh. Not about everything and not about everyone and not all the time but I have so many little moments that I wish I had been a different person, kinder in my attitude and my actions. I would like to be kinder to my co-workers especially the ones that give me the most trouble, and kinder to my kids and my husband especially when they are driving me crazy, and kinder to myself especially when I make mistakes. Personally I think the world could use a little more kindness and I am going to try to put that thought into action.

Y'all or you guys?

 A couple of people tweeted links to this article 22 Maps That Show How Americans Speak English Totally Differently From Each Other. I found this endlessly fascinating and spent some time looking at the survey page that contains all the maps. It reminds me of the show "How the States got Their Shapes." It's interesting to learn about the small differences between regions. It's interesting to me for many reasons. But the main one is how I pronounce words or the phrases I use. Do I sound more like an Oklahoman where my parents are from or like a Louisianan where I am from or do I have some of my husband's Massachusetts pronunciations? Judging from these maps it is mostly like other Louisianans. But there are a few words or phrases where I sound more like my parents or like my husband. My pronunciation of "aunt" changes depending on whether I am referring to one of my own (ant) or one of his (ahnt). The same goes for ottoman though that is not one of the survey questions. I had never heard of the word "hassock" until a few year ago. It's funny because even though he has lived down here longer than he lived up there he still pronounces a few words like a Northerner. I think it is all about how you originally learn to speak. Because I can't remember him even saying y'all and I don't know how to say anything else (well that is not strictly true because sometime I throw out a "you guys" like they do in Oklahoma). It makes me wonder how our kids will pronounce words. I assume that they, like me, will do regional pronunciations. I do wonder though about the difference between Mary/merry/marry. He is going to have to explain that one to me.

Faux family

The other day I was on a parenting website reading an article by a mom of one, soon to be a mom of two. She was basically talking about loving her job AND her family and making both work. It's a nice article by one of my favorite mommy bloggers. AND then I read the comments. Seriously, I have got to stop reading the comments. Because one commenter basically said that by putting your kid in daycare you are missing a chunk of their day and are therefore not a real family. Huh?

I guess in this person's world Moms stay home with kids and Dads go out and earn the money. And that is fine if you can make it work for you. I think most parents would ideally like to have one parent home with their child, Mom OR Dad. But if you can't and baby has to go to a daycare it doesn't make you less of a family. My mother worked on and off when I was growing up. I doubt it ever entered anyone's mind that we might not be a real family. Bub went to daycare when he was 10 months. He was watched my mom until then. So were we a real family then? He wasn't with a stranger. But he wasn't with a parent either. Where is the logical conclusion to this person's thinking. There isn't one. Because it's crazy.

The structure of the Family is something that is ever evolving. The Mom/Dad ratio is changing. Sometimes one of each, sometimes two of each, sometimes just one of either. And it's OK. It's OK for everyone's family to be different and to work differently. And sometimes someone can stay home with Baby and sometimes Baby goes to daycare. But Daycare is not raising baby. Parents raise babies, daycares watch them.

It's just like anything when raising a child. You seek out the best. You want the best. You do what you can for this person that you are responsible for. And if Baby has to go to daycare or mother's day out or grandma's house to be watched because both parents have to work then it doesn't make you less of a family. There is no less of a family. There is only family.

Blog Everyday in October?

So I have been contemplating blogging every day in October.  I am so unhappy that I've neglected blogging.  Even my book blog is suffering from some inattention.  I just can't seem to focus on anything internet related right now.  But I don't want to let this blog fall into disuse as is the case right now.  Blogging everyday seems to give me focus and makes me write and is actually fairly helpful to me.  Blogging everyday though is a big undertaking but I have done it before many times.  So, yes, I think I'll give it another shot in October.  I'll try to start writing up things this month though, just to get started.

Whoosh

Before I fall asleep, when I'm brusing my teeth or taking a shower, I always think of great topics for this blog.  I can write them in my head.  But by the time I make it to a computer with enough time to write a blog, my topics are gone.  Whoosh, right out of my head.  So that's why my topics seem so random.  I have wonderful thought provoking things to say and then I talk about potty training.  I think that's why I do so much better on my book blog.  I mean, I read a book, I review it.  Done.  Moving on.  But with this one, it's more personal, more about what I want to say.  And sometimes the only thing I can think of is "Potty training sucks."

Literary Tattoos

 I love tattoos and have a couple myself with more to come, but recently there was a slideshow on Twilight tattoos. And I like that series, I actually do (albeit less than I started out) but I would never tattoo Twilight anything on my body. But I've been thinking, is there any book or poem that I would tattoo on my body. I think the answer is no. I've considered Alice in Wonderland, Nancy Drew, e.e. cummings, but nothing really just sticks to me. The only thing is, and feel free to laugh, is that I wish I had gotten a small Sailor Moon tattoo instead of what I got my first time. Don't get me wrong I still like what I got but Sailor Moon has meant a lot to me over the years. And that goes to show that what is meaningful for one person will not be for someone else. So the same people tattooing Twilight on their bodies would probably laugh at me for a Sailor Moon tattoo. But in the end, I don't like the idea of having something in popular culture etched into my skin. Those things are often fleeting, subject to our whims and our age and our taste.


Anyway, I found 2 communiteis that are dedicated to literary tattoos: Bookworms with Ink on LJ and Contrariwise. I like looking at what others would do that I probably wouldn't do myself. Some of them are really pretty and pretty cool.

What do you think about literary tattoos?

cross posted with The Little Bookworm