A little less

Every now and then someone on one of my social media feeds decides to take a break from it all. I have one Facebook acquaintance who is taking 6 months off of personal social media. I'm not inclined to taking a full out break but I am occasionally tempted. What I think I might do though is do less. Sadly the goal I'm having the hardest time with is being on my electronics less. I know what I'm teaching my kids by example but I always think well let me check X really quick and then I stay looking at links to articles and blog posts instead of just putting the phone, tablet, whatever done almost right away. In other words, it's never really quick. So I'm turning notifications off. I'm limiting myself how much I get to check. Maybe 3 times a day to start, I'm not sure. Basically I'm thinking that no electronics from when I get home till they are in bed (this does not count my Nook for reading). When I'm with my family, I want to be with my family. Maybe a slackening in my own usage will help change some of the habits that my son has picked up. All in all, a little less plug-in can't be a bad thing.

Still in the right direction

So we are at the beginning of April and I'm still walking and doing Weight Watchers. I feel like a pat on the back is in order. I'm losing weight very slowly at about a 1/2 a week. I know the desire to see a more rapid weight loss but I'm feeling like slow and steady is going to win this race. Having co-workers who want to walk is helpful as is meal planning. Meal planning is not one of my favorite things especially right now when the temptation is to grab something to go with all of the sports practices we have right now. But that's not good for anyone's health or my wallet. The weekly meal planning and grocery shopping is good though. I can plan healthy meals and, it's nice, every night to know what we are eating. And, yes, sometimes we have a frozen pizza but we are not eating out and that's a good thing.

It's frustrating sometimes to just not do everything I want to do or eat whatever I want. But it's not that I can't have fast food, in fact the other day I was tired and he had baseball practice so we got McDonald's. Not the best choice but sometimes I think it's okay. It's the all the time that matters. It's the all the time that is not okay. So it's a work in progress as are most things in life. And I'm trying to keep in mind that it's about the health and feeling better and maybe not so yucky that I'm looking for, the weight loss is a factor in that but it's not the complete endgame. The goal is good health.

One Word

Last year I choose "optimism/acceptance" as my word for the year. I don't know if I entirely succeeded in living out that word. I always have a desire for things to be better or easier or at least not as hard. But I tried my best and I feel like I'm in a decent place with work and home and the balance between. It also helped having one of the more negative influences at work move on and be replaced with a positive and fun person. I didn't realize how much she was bringing me down until she was gone.

But recently I read a book called We Were Liars by E. Lockhart and in it a supporting character tells the main character to be a little kinder than you have to and I have been thinking about that ever since. And when I googled that this quote from J.M. Barrie came up:

“Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” So true.

So my word for this year is Kinder. I would like to be kinder. By nature I am generous. I liked making and giving and helping. But am I kind enough? I don't feel like I am. I can be so judgmental and harsh. Not about everything and not about everyone and not all the time but I have so many little moments that I wish I had been a different person, kinder in my attitude and my actions. I would like to be kinder to my co-workers especially the ones that give me the most trouble, and kinder to my kids and my husband especially when they are driving me crazy, and kinder to myself especially when I make mistakes. Personally I think the world could use a little more kindness and I am going to try to put that thought into action.

The Dinner Goal

Growing up we didn't have family dinner for a variety of reasons but we didn't eat many meals together.  My childhood home had a living room and a den. It also had a dining area off the kitchen that didn't see much use as near as I can remember. On the whole I ate alone in the living room especially once my sister got her own TV in her room. We all kind of went our own separate ways for dinner. It's sounds terrible but it wasn't. It was actually fine. It was when I meet my husband and ate at his parent's house that I realized that families do, in fact, eat dinner together at a table and not in front of the TV. It was something new for me. So dinner time became a much more together time. We've almost always had dinner time together and with no TV since we've lived together. There are always exceptions but as a rule.

Somehow lately I've let dinners take a downward turn. It began when BT started working nights as a special now and again thing that Bub and I did. Then it very slowly wound down into him where he could see the TV and then ended up with him eating at a TV tray while I ate dinner with Button at the table. GASP! I know, such poor parenting. I realized late last year what was happening and that I was letting it happen because it is just easier. But I let the year play out since he was vacation and all. But I explained to him what was going to happen when school started again. He was going to eat dinner with us at the table with no TV and no electronics. The same would go for me. Because along with letting him eat in front of the TV I was playing on my phone while I ate.

School started on Tuesday. He was not happy. He was doubly not happy to find me making him sit at the table and eat with me and his sister with nothing to entertain me. And you know what? It was fine. He talked to me and told me about school and his friends. It was really nice. Last night BT was home and so we all sat down at the table. Bub wanted to play on his new tablet but I told him no. He pouted but it was good. I think once he realizes that this is a permanent thing he will be cool with it. He's a fairly adaptable child. And eating in the living room can go back to being a special treat instead of the norm. This might turn out to be the easiest goal of them all.

Seven times (The Healthy Goal)

How many times have I written this post? About being healthy, losing weight, doing something to feel better about me. I'm afraid, to be honest, that I will keep writing this post which means I will keep starting over rather than sticking to it. But I said that a goal of mine this year is to get healthy and part of that is losing weight and becoming more active. I was going to join Weight Watchers to start but if I'm being honest right now I don't want to spend that money. Can you put a price on your own health? No, but I can refrain from spending $50 right now that I could use for something else like dinner or gas or dentistry for my child. Instead I downloaded My Fitness Pal, a free app that lets put in your goals and keep track of all that you eat, drink, exercise, etc. You can put in how much weight you want to lose (1 lb a week for me) and it will calculate how many calories to consume in a day. It also factors in any exercise that you do. It reminds me of the Weight Watchers online but there are no points. Frankly I like points. It's easier for me to keep track of points in my head but until I decided to put down the money on that system, this will have to do. I decided to start on my first day back at work because I can only eat what I bring in contrast to being at home where I have all that food (haha like we have food in our house) available. So how's that working out? Not too bad. But it's only day 2 and I'm fighting the urge to be negative about the whole thing and just try.

I did get up yesterday and do a 30 minute walking workout video and I'm proud of that. I was going to get up again this morning for Pilates but last night was the coldest night we are probably going to have all year and I was loathed to drag myself out of my warm bed plus I somehow hurt my foot. But my plan is to definitely do cardio (like a walking video) at least 3 times a week and then intersperse Pilates or yoga in the days in between. If I don't do the Pilates or yoga then it's whatever because right now I'm viewing them as bonus and the cardio is really what I am looking for.

Right now I am cautiously hopeful about this whole thing. I went for a long time with excercising everyday and I know that I can do it again. I just have to believe in myself and get some stick-to-itness in my attitude

New Year Goals

Once again I am going to set goals rather than resolutions. I think my goals this year are going to look a lot like last years, only because they are basically life goals rather than yearly goals. It's things I strive to change daily, but I have a hard time.

1. I'd like to be a healthier version of me.  And a lot of that is losing weight, yes. I know it is the ultimate cliche at New Years to say you want to lose weight, but it is still true. This year I am going to join Weight Watchers as a sign of my commitment and to motivate me. If I am paying for something I am going to get all I can out of it. I just want my clothes to fit me again and to not feel gross about myself. So I am going to give it a go. Along with that is working out again and dragging my butt out of bed in the mornings to get it done. While I always think that being runner is really cool, I'm probably not going to that. I might attempt the C25K again but I am not committing to that. Rather I am going to try for 3-4 days of exercise and then healthy eating to go with it. I want to show my kids what the right lifestyle looks like and teach them. But mostly I want to do it for me.

2. I'd like to be on my phone/electronics less. I didn't do great with this last year. I am on the computer much less at home but not my phone. I am on my phone a lot. I need to just put it down and pay attention even if it is just to watch TV with my kids. Along with that is the resolution to make Bub get off his electronics too. He is taking cues from me and his dad about that and it needs to stop.
 
3. To have more family dinners. We use to do this everyday. But most nights it's just me and the kids and I have become very relaxed about eating dinner together and with the TV off. That's about to change. Some quiet family time for dinner and then homework and family time afterward, that's how we use to do it and we are going back to that.

Resolutions {Revisited}

At the beginning of the year I set up some resolutions/goals for this year. I'm going to try and periodically check in on them to keep myself on track.

1. I'd like to start working out again.
I've been stopping and starting with this on and off for a couple of months now. I feel so lazy but I'm just tired. The way our lives are run right now leaves both BT and I on our own a lot with the kids and nighttime is usually my time. So I'm not getting enough sleep and so right now that extra half hour in the morning looks pretty attractive. But I am going to start and keep it up. It will be easier now maybe now that Button is fully weaned. I hope. I'm going to try.

2. I'd like to be on my phone/electronics less.
I'd like to say that I put my phone down once I get home and don't pick it up again until the kids are in bed but I'd be lying. I usually look at it while sitting watching Button take a bath and I'll pick it up periodically through the night. I do find I'm looking at it less and I don't at all when we eat together or when we are watching TV. I also find that I am trying to play more with Bub and Button though they like to do different things so I'm working on a balance between the two of them. I think that is just the struggle of a mother of more than one though, finding that balance. Luckily Bub is very forgiving of me, a blessing with his high maintenance sister.

3. My eternal struggle: to have more patience. 
It's gotten easier now that Bub's ADHD is being controlled. That sounds terrible but it's the truth. He is able to listen better now and I don't find myself having to repeat constantly, something I hate to do. I also make more a concentrated effort to focus in on him. I'm not perfect so sometimes I lose it with him. But I'm trying.

Resolutions

Like most people I am terrible at upholding my New Years resolutions. But this year I'm trying for a few more attainable goals. Something I can stick with a little more easy than past resolutions.

1. I'd like to start working out again. I was doing really well for a long time and then I got pregnant. Still I worked out til the middle of my 2nd trimester and then I quit and never started again. I'm not resolving to lose weight though that would be nice. I'm resolving to work out more and feel healthy and good about myself again. I started the Couch to 5K last year very briefly and then stopped. So I am going to try that again with the goal of running the Color Run in November in New Orleans.

2. I'd like to be on my phone/electronics less. I had a problem for a while of always being on the computer and not paying attention to Bub. But one day I realized what I was doing ignoring him like that. So I stopped getting on the computer so much. I find that now that I have a smartphone I am on that a lot. And it's not so much that I stay on it constantly because I don't have the kind of time but that I check it all the time. I find too that I do it more when I'm out of the house at my parent's or BT's parents or eating out or whatever. I want to be a good example to my children so I think I need to quit being one of those people I use to hate before I got a smartphone.

3. My eternal struggle: to have more patience. My son can be a lot and he can be a lot most of the time. My daughter hasn't yet reach that stage but I know it will be coming soon within the next year. I want to learn patience and to not yell. I want them to remember me as someone who was loving and kind and not someone who fussed constantly. Patience is not one of my key personality traits so I have to try hard. I am going to continue this year searching for as much patience I can find within myself.