I read a book about three teenaged sisters the other day and in it one of the sisters says about their parents that they love each other more than they love their children. I've been thinking about that. I remember a few years ago a big deal being made about a journalist who said she loved her husband more than her children and then everyone freaked the hell out. I think, in the end, no one wants to think that their own parents love someone else more than them. Because then what does that really mean? How can you birth someone and not love them best? But children are always expected to go out and find someone else to love and who they will no doubt love more than their parents and it is not only acceptable but encouraged. Spouses are meant to be with you for the rest of your life. I can see how someone would feel the way the journalist felt.
But down this line of though lay this: can I really say I love one more than the other? No. I can't say I love them equally, my husband and my child. I can't really quantify the amount of love I have for them. I love them differently and I love them hugely. But one I expect to spend almost everyday of the rest of my life with, the other is eventually going to leave me and who I will only see for visits. It is just that way. At some point long ago I heard an expression: you're either a mother who is a wife or a wife who is a mother. The idea of "wife who is a mother" horrified me and I decided to never be one. But the truth is I am always both at the same time. I cannot express how it is to love someone that you helped create, that is truly part of you. But I have also chosen someone to love and that is something else altogether.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, January 7, 2011
Monday, February 15, 2010
Love Story...
Ever wonder how I met my wonderful husband? No. Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway.
I became friends with a girl, Britt, in the summer of 1999 when we were both on the orientation staff together and started hanging out with her a lot. One of BT's best friends from high school, Lou Lou, was Britt's roommate. We were friends and I was at their apartment all summer long, but it wasn't until the end of the summer that I met him. We managed to miss each other all summer.
One day Britt and I were getting ready to go take yearbook pics and I was ironing our shirts when BT came over to hang out with Lou Lou. We talked a little and then went our separate ways, then later Britt and I were hanging out with some other friends and BT and Lou Lou were about to go out and BT came to talk to us while she got dressed. We had been drinking a little (a lot) and we were very giddy and though it was hilarious that he was wearing overalls and that he was so short (he is only 5'3" while I'm 5'1"). I remember standing next to him to measure heights.
The next time I saw him was at a Greek event (Britt and Lou Lou were in the same society) called "Yell like Hell" a spirit event. And he was trying to be funny and it was cute and I kept saying later that night to Britt that it was a shame because obviously he and Lou Lou were destined to get married but that he was so cute.
And then the next time I saw him was on a friend's birthday on October 22. We all went out to a club and we were both a little bored and I was sitting across from him and I kicked him under the table. So we started flirting and that was that. We were an unofficial couple and then we were just a couple. And six years later almost to the day, we got married. So here we are, 11 years after the kick, married with one son and two dogs and there is very little I would change about any of it.
I became friends with a girl, Britt, in the summer of 1999 when we were both on the orientation staff together and started hanging out with her a lot. One of BT's best friends from high school, Lou Lou, was Britt's roommate. We were friends and I was at their apartment all summer long, but it wasn't until the end of the summer that I met him. We managed to miss each other all summer.
One day Britt and I were getting ready to go take yearbook pics and I was ironing our shirts when BT came over to hang out with Lou Lou. We talked a little and then went our separate ways, then later Britt and I were hanging out with some other friends and BT and Lou Lou were about to go out and BT came to talk to us while she got dressed. We had been drinking a little (a lot) and we were very giddy and though it was hilarious that he was wearing overalls and that he was so short (he is only 5'3" while I'm 5'1"). I remember standing next to him to measure heights.
The next time I saw him was at a Greek event (Britt and Lou Lou were in the same society) called "Yell like Hell" a spirit event. And he was trying to be funny and it was cute and I kept saying later that night to Britt that it was a shame because obviously he and Lou Lou were destined to get married but that he was so cute.
And then the next time I saw him was on a friend's birthday on October 22. We all went out to a club and we were both a little bored and I was sitting across from him and I kicked him under the table. So we started flirting and that was that. We were an unofficial couple and then we were just a couple. And six years later almost to the day, we got married. So here we are, 11 years after the kick, married with one son and two dogs and there is very little I would change about any of it.
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