On being good

This year has resulted in a lot of changes. Clearly the biggest one has been the new addition to the family. But starting in late February we had to remove Bub from the daycare he had been going to for 4 years because of the preschool teacher. So BT started working nights to keep Bub during the day. And then I had Button and Bub stayed home with the two of us. This was not the most stimulating of times for him. I pretty much left him to his own devices while I was dealing with the newborn. When I went back to work Bub started at a summer camp near our house which was good for him. He got out of the house, played with kids his own age and got to go on field trips. I think he missed his old life though and playing with the friends that he has known since he was one year old and seeing his dad every night. He has always been a child who likes familiarity and doesn't like change. He also likes structure and schedules but at the same time will try to get away with everything I let him.

He is not doing well in kindergarten, another big change for the family and a huge change for him. He won't be quiet and sit still, he keeps drawing on his papers (something that aggravates his teacher) and he plays around all the time. I am at a loss right now. I really don't want him to be that kid. I know that it is the beginning of the year and they have only had one full week since last week was interrupted by a hurricane. But the lack of good behavior has me worried and is resulting in more changes. No more TV after I get home, early bedtime, no video games if there is a bad report from school. I am trying everything I can. I know that he will catch on though. His pre-k teacher when he was 3 had a good behavior system in place and he responded well to it. I think it has been so long since he has had any structure that it is hard on him.

Bringing the boy to my doctor's appointment

I have a pregnancy check-up today and Bub is home sick. So he is coming with me. I'm a little nervous about this because he is not a patient child but I'm bringing every game he owns plus my phone has games. The real problem is that I have to do the one hour glucose test today so it is going to require an extra wait. I can only hope he is good and minds me. I'm not sure how to handle the lab work though. How bothered is he going to be seeing them draw blood? Not to mention the two urine tests I have to do. I don't really want him to see me pee in a cup so he is going to have to wait outside which goes against my mommy-have-to-see-him-every-second instincts that guide me when we are out in public. I think we will get through this fine. He will like hearing the baby's heartbeat and that will entertain him for about a minute. I just feel a little bad about having to drag him out to do something so boring.

Sunday morning church

Lately we've been going to church.  I haven't been a regular church goer for a very long time but it is important to me that my child go to church and get to know God, etc.  That was the upbringing I had and I wanted him to have the same.  But he just started going at the age of 4 and he doesn't want to go with the other children so he stays with me in "big church" instead.  I'm not sure how much about Jesus he is picking up this way, but eventually he will have to go to Sunday School with the other kids.  He is pretty funny in church, mostly playing with colors and sometimes playing "Angry Birds" on his aunt's phone.  And occasionally yelling out "Is it over?" after the singing or the invitation.  He is actually pretty good considering the fact that he can't sit still.

Weddings and the Average 4 year old

In a little over a month, we are going to be in a wedding.  And by "we" I mean all 3 of us.  I am the Matron of Honor, BT is a groomsman, and Bub is one of the ring bearers is BT's sister's wedding.  We are all happy to be in it and are looking forward to it. 

My job is, apparently, to walk the ring bearers (the other one is our nephew, BT's brother's son) down the aisle.  I have been talking to Bub about weddings and being a ring bearer.  He does not seem enthusiastic about dressing up and having all the people look at him.  I told him that he was going to walk down an aisle with Mommy and his cousin and all the people are going to look and say "Look at the cute boys"  and he replied with "Uh, yuck!"  But I think he will be fine.  I think we might start practicing.  I can get the processional music and we can walk slowly around and maybe that will help.  I have visions of him speeding down the aisle with me hissing at him to stop.  But I think having an audience will slow him down a bit and make him more self-conscious.  Although he does love an audience.  I was wondering if I was going to have a bouquet and if not then I could hold their hands, but they are carrying pillows and I'm certain I will have a bouquet so that's out.  I'm sure I am worrying too much.  But I am trying to impress on Bub that we need to be good and give his aunt a nice wedding and not spoil it by being silly.  We can be silly all we want at the reception. 

Bullying and the preschooler

I dropped Bub off at preschool today and his teacher told me something that made me deeply unhappy.  He is being picked on by some of the other kids and yesterday someone was pinching him while the others stood around.  It sounds really ominous but they are four.  According to her, Bub was crying and "terrified."  Now I don't know about that because he didn't mention it.  But it would explain why he has been more reluctant to go to school and stopped talking about his friends so much.  He made a point of saying last night that JP was his friend and JA was his friend, even though JA is only in aftercare and goes to preschool somewhere else.  So I don't know what to do.  His teacher is a bit prone to over-dramatics so it might not be as dire as she made it sound.  And I can't protect him all of the time and can only teach him how to stand up for himself in a (hopefully nonviolent) way.  But it worries me that this is going on.  And it infuriates me that she didn't tell my husband yesterday when BT picked him up from school.  We could have done something, had a talk with him when it was fresh.  Instead she waits for me to get him.  Preschools and Dads.  So far, both the daycares he has attended have a hard time telling BT information we need to know.  They wait for me.  DON'T wait for the mom, tell the DAD.  It is ok.  He is a parent too.

But beyond that, bullying at the age of 4 is worrisome.  Four year olds are not known for the good impulse control and empathy.  I don't want Bub to be *that* kid, the one who is picked on.  I don't want him to be the bully.  I don't want this to happen or have happened.  And I cannot stand the idea of him standing around being hurt.  His teacher said she sent notes home to the offenders and, having meet most of the parents, I'm sure they will talk to their kids.  But it's just depressing that we are going to deal with this so soon.

All the dogs

My son began to worry in the car the other night about the dogcatcher.  He was worried that he was going to come in the house and take the two dogs.  "I don't want the man to come and take Java and Kona," he said repeatedly.  After finally figuring out he meant the dogcatcher, I explained that the man doesn't come into houses to take dogs and so ours are safe.  "I want to go and get all the dogs in the cages and bring them home."  Aw, I wish we could too.  Bub has a good heart.  Sweet boy.

 

On the occasion of my son's 4th Birthday

ub is 4 years old today.  I can hardly believe it in a way.  We looked at some newborn pictures of him last night and it seems both so far behind us and yet so very close.  He is just so big and so talkative and bossy and loud and silly and funny and sweet and sassy and about a million other things I never imagined when I was pregnant.  It's funny, you know, when you are pregnant and you spend hours wondering who the baby is inside of you and yet you know somehow.  I knew who he was before I even meet him.  And, yet, he has turned out so much more wonderful than that despite our frustrating moments.  I love him so very much and I am in awe of this person we have created.  My beautiful sweet four year old boy. 

Not a good morning

Let me lead you through my mornings.  I get up somewhere between 5:25 and 5:45 (on a bad day) and workout, two of my least favorite things to do but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  Then I fix Bub some oatmeal and juice and set it on the TV tray in the living room and put on whatever show he likes watching at the time.  For a while it was Micky Mouse Clubhouse, but he likes Timmy Time right now.  I don't really care.  I use to get him dressed in bed and then let him eat cereal in the car on the way to daycare, but now I let him watch TV.  Anyway, I very nicely turn on his lamp so his room isn't too bright first thing and then tell him to wake up, that Timmy Time (or whatever) is on.  Most of the time he will get up and go into the living room.  I pick out his clothes and bring them into the living room and then them.  I then go get dressed myself hoping he will eat while I'm doing that.  Then, ideally, I go and get him dressed or help him dressed himself, fix my lunch if I need to and off we go.

Lately he has been giving me so much trouble.  This morning, as an example, he didn't want to get out of bed and then he finally did. I told him to eat.  When I peeked out he wasn't eating, so I told him that the TV would be going off if he didn't eat.  He took a bite.  When next I looked he was just laying there.  No.  So I went and turned the TV off and tried to make him get dressed.  He didn't want.  Frustrated, I said to get dressed now and then the TV can come back on.  Finally he did with tears.  Then he didn't want to eat.  I told him no oatmeal tomorrow.  I'm done wasting food on someone who won't eat it.  Crying.  But it's too late, we have to go.  This kid has 1, maybe 2 things to do in the morning.  Eat his food which I fixed for him and get dressed.  I don't even require the latter.  It would just be nice.  Tomorrow we are going to start fixing his behavior.  TV is not a right and certainly not first thing in the morning.  I am just being nice.  Really I'm a pick-your-battles kind of mom.  And we are about to go to war over the morning routine.

He wants a sister

never thought I'd get pressure to have a second baby from my 3 year old.  But he has been pressing hard for a little sister for a couple of months now.  I don't think he knows what he is asking for.  When asked where we are going to get this little sister store, the response is "from the store."  Aw, no, I explain.  Mommies grow babies in their tummies so you have to wait for mommy to get a baby in her tummy.  He counters that he can just grow the baby in his tummy since it is his little sister.  Well, I response, it will be my baby so I should be the one to grow her.  Now? he asks.  No, after your aunt's wedding next year.
Wedding?  Getting married?  Who's getting married?  Are you?
No, I am already married.  Aunt Katy is going to marry Uncle John (he already calls sister-in-law's fiancé uncle, but they have been together as long as Bub has been alive).  Yeah, the concept of marriage is a hard one for a 3 year old.  That's ok, I tell him, I'll let you know when the time comes.  You can be the first to know.  So I'm hoping for a little sister which will make everyone happy, our mothers, our sisters and apparently Bub.  But he still has to wait.

Time Change

I am insanely tired today.  A lot comes from the book sale this weekend and working all day Saturday.  But then the time change and that threw me off.  This is actually my favorite time change.  It is so much easier than the spring one where we gain an hour.  But still when you forget to change your alarm clock and end up getting up at 4:30 am rather than 5:30, it can be a bad thing.  Bub doesn't get up till 6:15/6:30, depending and he is hard to wake up in general, but I think he is getting sick or at least he has this cough and he was not happy about waking up this morning at all.  In fact he screamed at me to go back to bed and then threw an epic tantrum, just refusing to get out of bed.  And then when I walked out of his room, he got up and closed the door and went back to bed so I had to go back in and talked him into to getting up and watching a little TV before he got dressed. 

I got up and did a short work-out and then saw the time and did about 10 more minutes of exercise and then played on the computer for a bit and watched a little TV.  Then I got dressed and started doing my usual stuff.  So at least I sort of used my time wisely.  I think maybe everyone is going to bed extra early tonight though.

Stickers

use to collect stickers.  It was a big thing when I was younger.  We had sticker books that we pasted them in.  In fact, my mom still has mine.  And now my son loves stickers.  Like a whole lot!  He puts them on his hand, his face, his feet, his stomach, chest, bottom.  He loves stickers!  He pretty much always has since he was around 1 1/2.  I find stickers everywhere, especially all of the floor.  One time, his aunt asked if Bub had been sleeping in her bed and my mother-in-law asked how she knew.  And she said because there were stickers all over her bed!  So funny.  He definitely leaves a trail where ever he goes.

Sports

Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I don't do sports.  I don't like to be dirty or sweat or really go outside that much.  I started t-ball at 6 and then moved onto softball for a little while.  But I also did gymnastics starting at age 5 and then moved to dance and gymnastics at 6, then I quit gymnastics and danced till I was 13 when I gave it up, something I deeply regretted as soon as I did it.  And my mom wouldn't let me rejoin after we moved to a new town because I had quit.  So out when any interest I had in physical activities.

My husband, on the other hand, loves sports.  He played hockey, soccer, baseball from elementary to middle school and ran track in high school.  He loves sports.  He plays fantasy football every year which leads to him watching lots of games.  We are such a stereotypical couple.

But I don't want my child to be one of those kids that never goes outside and doesn't do anything.  So I have signed him up for soccer this fall and will sign him up for t-ball in the spring.  I think this is a good start.  And so far the soccer has gone well.  The first practice or game or whatever went ok.  Bub was nervous and unsure but the second session he did much better and wanted to keep playing beyond the hour session.  This is a good sign for sure.

Today

I signed up the little man for Pee-wee Soccer and I can't wait to see him play.  It will be so cute.  They don't really play a game or anything with the 3 year olds.  It is more to get them use to the idea of soccer and team sports.  Still I think he will like it since he will get to run around with other kids and kick a ball.  It will be good for him and he is happy about it.

We also went swimming and I got to try out my new Lime Ricki swimsuit.  It was really comfortable and I liked it.  I didn't feel exposed like I did in my other ones from Old Navy.  So I'm happy to have a good swimsuit now.


Today is my dad's birthday and we went out to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse and it was delicious and we had fun.  Bub fell asleep at my parent's and so he slept over there.

In which I post random things about clothing and tiny children playing soccer

My clothes that shipped on Monday still haven't come in yet.  Which is stupid, right, because they will probably be today.  It's just that this seems to be taking abnormally long and I don't even have a tracking number from one company.  Remember when you'd get a catalog in and it had a mail order form and you either had to call or mail the form back to order clothes and stuff?  Yeah, I think I just showed my age.  I would like obsess over the Delia's catalog over and over and mark it up, but I only bought a few things.  Same thing with Victoria's Secret.  My cousin and I had an obesssion with that catalog.  I always like how everything matched.  I'm big on matching.  And now I can't stand Victoria's Secret.  Their bras are really bad for someone like me.  They gap too much and the straps don't stay up. 

In other news, I was driving to work today and at a four way stop there was a sign for soccer starting at age 3!  Yeah.  I texted BT and asked if we should sign Bub up for soccer and he said Hell Yeah.  So the registration is on Saturday and I will go sign him up for "Turf Tykes."  It will be so cute.  I hope he likes it.  I'm thinking it will be a good way from him to run around and maybe learn something about rules and sports.  And they get a uniform.  So precious!

Nothing to blog about ...

feel kind of bad because I have been neglecting this blog.  Yes, I was on vacation last week, but I haven't had much to say in general.  A couple of things have been going on that have been upsetting me, but it's not the kind of thing that I feel comfortable blogging about and I'm pretty sure I'm over it now.  To each his own and so on.  Other than that, most of the month has been spent getting ready for Disney World and now that is over with and I'm just back to my everyday kind of boring life.

Conversation with the 3 year old:

Bub: Are you happy?
Me: *surprised* yes, are you?
Bub: I happy too.  Is Daddy happy?
Me: I think so.  *pause* You know what.  *You* make me happy.
Bub: You make me happy too.

And my heart melted...

Conversation with Child.

BT: Do you want a brother?
Bub: Yes
Me: Do you want a sister?
Bub: Nope. Brother.

Nice to know he has an opinion.

Easter non-fun day

Yesterday Bub and I went to a local old-fashioned Cajun village for an Easter day.  But it didn't go as smoothly as I had planned.  He was in a bad mood and I was trying to be patient but finally I lost it. 

We missed the egg hunt.  When they said they started at noon, they meant it.  We were running late and there was a line to pay and it was way in the back of the village.  So that wasn't a great start and I felt really bad about it.  Then we walked around for  a while which was fine, but he was really tired and didn't want to  listen to me.  So I ended up having to drag him out.  I really wanted to have a good day, but it didn't end up that way.  Maybe next year...

Thoughts about timing babies

I'll be honest.  There is a part of me that wants to have another baby right now.  I miss having a sweet little baby to hold and cuddle.  I liked being pregnant.  And there is such possibility when you are pregnant.  And I don't want to be too old.  I know I'm only 31, but the older you get and so on and I don't want to be too old. 

But I have my little boy who is 3 and so sweet and wonderful.  And he is just beginnning to be affectionate where he will tell me he loves me and give me spontaneous kisses and hugs.  And, yes, we are in the middle of the terrible questions "3's" which is maddening, but he is just so great.  And throwing a baby into the mix wouldn't work out great right now.

I really want him to potty trained before another baby which is what we are struggling with right now.  I need him to understand and take direction and to be more gentle (ha!).  He is getting to the phase where he is interested in babies and thinks they are cute. (The other day my aunt's neighbor came over with her 6 month old and he said she was so cute.  Of course, he said the same thing about the dog...)  It really would be better for him to be closer to kindergarden and that way he'd have his own stuff and would be a better big brother.  There are many other reasons not related to Bub for why we need to wait, money is a big one, my lack of vacation time is another.   But I sometimes I still yearn for a little baby right now.

Bubbles, bubbles everywhere

 

While I'm not one to post pictures of my family, I love these two that I took the other day while BT and Bub were playing with bubbles.  

Potty Training

The boy is 3 years and 2 months.  We finally started potty training.  It is not going well.  It is not interested at all.  He likes wearing underwear and he knows what is going on down there.  He just refuses to sit on the potty.  I let him pick out what potty he wanted.  He wanted the truck one.  But he just doesn't want to use it.  I'm not sure if I should worry about it now or not.  Our nephew didn't potty train until he was 3 1/2 so it's not like Bub is behind for his age.  Some of the kids in his class are potty trained and some are not.  I'm hoping seeing his friends will encourage him.  When he saw his cousin using the potty he wanted to too so I guess I shouldn't stress about it now.  If I stress and then stress him out it will take even longer.  I'm just so sick of changing diapers.