Bullying and the preschooler

I dropped Bub off at preschool today and his teacher told me something that made me deeply unhappy.  He is being picked on by some of the other kids and yesterday someone was pinching him while the others stood around.  It sounds really ominous but they are four.  According to her, Bub was crying and "terrified."  Now I don't know about that because he didn't mention it.  But it would explain why he has been more reluctant to go to school and stopped talking about his friends so much.  He made a point of saying last night that JP was his friend and JA was his friend, even though JA is only in aftercare and goes to preschool somewhere else.  So I don't know what to do.  His teacher is a bit prone to over-dramatics so it might not be as dire as she made it sound.  And I can't protect him all of the time and can only teach him how to stand up for himself in a (hopefully nonviolent) way.  But it worries me that this is going on.  And it infuriates me that she didn't tell my husband yesterday when BT picked him up from school.  We could have done something, had a talk with him when it was fresh.  Instead she waits for me to get him.  Preschools and Dads.  So far, both the daycares he has attended have a hard time telling BT information we need to know.  They wait for me.  DON'T wait for the mom, tell the DAD.  It is ok.  He is a parent too.

But beyond that, bullying at the age of 4 is worrisome.  Four year olds are not known for the good impulse control and empathy.  I don't want Bub to be *that* kid, the one who is picked on.  I don't want him to be the bully.  I don't want this to happen or have happened.  And I cannot stand the idea of him standing around being hurt.  His teacher said she sent notes home to the offenders and, having meet most of the parents, I'm sure they will talk to their kids.  But it's just depressing that we are going to deal with this so soon.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Have a wonderful day!

Name worry

It seems like everyone is pregnant right now but that's not true.  I mean a whole lot of celebrities are pregnant but I don't know them.  But there are some pregnant people that I do know who will have babies this year.  Now we are not planning on trying until at least July.  But I had a sudden and paranoid thought just now.  What if one or more of those ladies uses one of the names we like?  And it's not that I don't want them to use any of them for fear of losing them but what if they use my favorite name and then I use that name too?  I don't want them to think I am copying anyone, but most of them are people I never see and I am really only friends with on Facebook.  So unless you are related to me then I really don't care if our children have the same name.  But I know how people can be about baby names.

We currently have one favorite boy name and then one boy name that I liked and BT doesn't care for.  And three girl names, one more favored than the others.  So there is some variety.  I think there is only one name that I would be sad to lose for a girl.  But then I think, given my relationship to these ladies, I would still choose that same name.  I know this is a weird worry.  It's just people get weird about baby names and uniqueness and all.  I already told co-worker I don't care what she and another lady who is trying for a baby name their children.  My names are chosen and if they are the same as theirs then oh well.  It's not like I will work with them forever.  And, of course, everything is subject to change when I actually get pregnant again.

So tired

I am so very tired right now.  And I can't breath because my sinuses are acting up and so I'm keep sniffling.  I hope that I'm not getting a cold.  This weekend we had a birthday party and I hope that I didn't catch something.  But I think it is just allergies because the temperature dropped this weekend and the change in weather will often do that.  I don't think these dusty books are helping though.

Introspection on love

I read a book about three teenaged sisters the other day and in it one of the sisters says about their parents that they love each other more than they love their children.  I've been thinking about that.  I remember a few years ago a big deal being made about a journalist who said she loved her husband more than her children and then everyone freaked the hell out.  I think, in the end, no one wants to think that their own parents love someone else more than them.  Because then what does that really mean?  How can you birth someone and not love them best? But children are always expected to go out and find someone else to love and who they will no doubt love more than their parents and it is not only acceptable but encouraged.   Spouses are meant to be with you for the rest of your life.  I can see how someone would feel the way the journalist felt.

But down this line of though lay this: can I really say I love one more than the other?  No.  I can't say I love them equally, my husband and my child.  I can't really quantify the amount of love I have for them.  I love them differently and I love them hugely.  But one I expect to spend almost everyday of the rest of my life with, the other is eventually going to leave me and who I will only see for visits.  It is just that way.  At some point long ago I heard an expression: you're either a mother who is a wife or a wife who is a mother.  The idea of "wife who is a mother" horrified me and I decided to never be one.  But the truth is I am always both at the same time.  I cannot express how it is to love someone that you helped create, that is truly part of you.  But I have also chosen someone to love and that is something else altogether.