Just keep swimming

So I went to swim class. I've been twice at this point now. The first time, last Wednesday, I was super nervous but I drove over there anyway. The pool they are using in the winter is pretty far from my house. The coach is extremely nice and I think if I set a goal she will get me there. So far she's taught me how to breath plus the rhythm of swimming and the correct form. I think I'm going to like it. Swimming feels nice and it's fun learning something new. Although as I'm crawling along last night trying to piece it all together, I thought man, if my (former) swimmer brother-in-law and triathlete sister-in-law could see me, they would just laugh. After practice yesterday I had a little conversation with a few of the other ladies and one asked how I liked it. I told her swimming is hard but I think I'm going to like it. Another one replied that Coach is good and she'll push you to your goals which is exactly what I need although I don't really have a goal right now with swimming. Mostly I just want to learn something new. Mostly I want to do a low impact cross training. And I want to be fit and in shape. But you never know one day I may have a swimming goal. Never say never anymore.

I have had this thought for a while. When I started all of this, my son has just turned 9 and my daughter was about to be 4. Now in his lifetime he's seen me exercise on and off but never with the dedication I've shown in the past year. I was never a runner, never a swimmer. I did 30 minutes 3 times a week of workout videos and that was it. And there was nothing wrong with that. But it didn't bring much satisfaction and it didn't last long. But this is different somehow. Somehow the running flipped a switch I didn't know I had and the results of that make me keep going back. It's nice in a way that my daughter won't remember the old me. When she grows up she'll just remember that her mom ran in races, that her mom is an athlete and she won't know that I wasn't for a very long time. But honestly I don't do these things for anyone else. I'm not trying to be an example or teach them any kind of lesson. I think the minute I tried I would fail. Because this is for me. It has to be. I need something that is just mine, especially now with everything that is going on. But if the end result is that my kids see me doing something new, being brave and learning. If my daughter thinks I've always been athletic. If they feel inspired to do the same. Then I count that as a good by-product of all of this. I know I am an example whether I intend to be or not. I'm happy that I'm a good example just not to them but to myself.