It's a good thing that emotions are allowed be complicated and conflicted. On one hand, everyone (mostly our sisters) seems to be moving and moving on, happy with their futures and their prospects and all that it entails. And on that hand I am happy for them. It's good for them to be growing and developing their futures. I am grateful that they have these kinds of opportunities.
But on the other hand, I am sad. I am sad they are going and leaving us behind. That the future I had envisioned has been torn down and the new future isn't as pretty as it once was. That my kids are out of aunts and uncles who live nearby. I am sad because I will miss them.
And I know it's just one of those things. That sometimes jobs end and new jobs need to be found. That new opportunities come up in far away places. That the only person who can never leave never will and I should just be happy about that. That I can't have it all and it was selfish to think that I could.
The theme of this year seems to have become moving away. I sincerely hope this isn't a trend that continues. I am tired of it right now.