The Grateful Project wrap-up

I had actually intended to finish out the month with posts of gratefulness Friday and Saturday but it's been really busy. We were at BT's parent's house till Saturday morning and then Saturday afternoon I drove to a small town near us to buy a present for my aunt and then we went to my parent's house to have dinner and watch TV (how about that Auburn-Alabama game). Sunday BT put up the outside lights and the kids and I did some shopping for Bub's birthday party and some other household things we needed. Friday is going to be cleaning day and I wanted to be prepared. Then I cleaned up Bub's room which is no mean feat and started on Button's but I lost my momentum. So I watched a movie with them and then we made gingerbread men and went to the local zoo for their Christmas light display. We had a lot of fun but it took longer than I thought so everyone went to bed much later than we should have. Both me and Bub were hard pressed to get out of bed this morning.

So I guess to finish out the month I have to say I am grateful for being busy. Amber Riley said on DWTS that if you complain  when  you are busy then you'll complain when you are not and you'll never be happy. That is so true so it's good to be busy and to have plenty to do. I do wish for a little downtime but other that that is good to have such fun stuff to do.

Day 28: Family (The Grateful Project)

Happy Thanksgiving to all who are celebrating! We are with BT's family this year having spent the last two Thanksgivings with my family. It's chilly outside but it makes for good holiday weather.

Family means a lot to me. Family is everything. We are lucky to both have parents who have loved and cared for us our whole lives and we still support us to this day. I am grateful our kids have 2 sets of really excellent grandparents. I know not everyone gets that. And that our kids also have great aunts and uncles who care for them even if they don't get to see them very often. It's nice that we both have siblings we get along with and that are fun to hang out with when we see them. I am grateful that we have such great families that make the holidays a fun time. Our family gatherings seem to get smaller with time as people move away or pass on from our lives but it is the quality of time spent together that matters so for that I am grateful.

Day 27: The youngest (The Grateful Project)

Button has decided that she is a big girl just like her brother. No more plastic plates or cups with lids or booster seats. She can sit in a chair, thankyouverymuch. I asked if she realized that she was still a baby and she shook her head "no." She thinks she is as big as him. I think she has second child syndrome. The second child is always as old as the oldest child. I knew she would be his little shadow once she caught on and I warned him. I don't think he believed me because she annoys him so much and he is constantly trying to get her to leave him alone. Baby sisters are the worst. But he loves her and I find it just so sweet when he plays with her. She loves that so much. Big brother is playing princess castle or whatever with her.

It's hard to explain what's she added to our life. I worried about having another child. We had a good thing going just the three of us and would having another screw up our life? No. She is just what we didn't know we were missing. It's like we needed a fourth piece and she came along and fit. I marvel at her still. She is so beautiful and sweet and crazy and very much a strong-willed child. My mom said she is me all over again. She is my mini-me. She has my curly hair and my face and my strong will and she will not be denied. I hope she holds on to that. She is so smart and inquisitive and she loves the outside (that did not come from me). And even though she doesn't have the words yet she is incredibly opinionated on how things should  be. But then she's been that way since birth. She's always liked things a certain way (her way). Now I can't imagine life without her. How we lived our lives for so long without her, I don't know. But she came along at just the right time and she is one of the best decisions we ever made.

Day 26: The oldest (The Grateful Project)

I found a file on a flash drive the other day of photos of Bub from when he was a newborn to about age 3 and I got a little misty. He is about to be 7 and I don't know where those years went. I was watching Button do something toddlerish the other day and I asked BT if he remembered Bub at that age. And neither one of us can really remember. It's like the memories get crowded out and I only have few moments here and there. Sometimes things come back especially watching her. Like when he decided he had to do everything himself at about that age. He was always so cute and he was so chubby when he was little. I look at him now and I wonder where my fat little baby went. He is so skinny now (but still so handsome. Seriously that kid has the best face). And chatty and opinionated and he knows so much. And he is so funny. I love him and I love talking to him even when he is just rambling on and driving me crazy. He is getting so big and I like just hanging out with him and playing games or walking outside.

It's hard to explain how you feel about the oldest. They are your first and, for so long, he was my only. This is the person who made me a mom, who shaped so much of my identity now and who continues to change me as he grows. There are always new stages and I have to grow with him. He is so adaptable and so forgiving of my shortcomings and my failings as a mom. I am thankful that he is who is and that he loves me like he does. I don't know that I could love someone as much as I do him. Like I always tell him "I love you the most" to which he responds "I love you the most too." That will always live in my heart even as I forget the other moments.

Day 25: My husband (The Grateful Project)

I know I said this project was going to be all about the small moments in life but the truth is I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the big things in life. So it seems fitting to do that the week of Thanksgiving.

I am always grateful for my husband. Some people are just meant to be and while I don't believe in soulmates I can say we were meant to be. I cannot imagine life without BT. Well, I can give it a try but it seems harder and much lonely without him. When we first got together there was never a decision to be boyfriend/girlfriend, we just were. Like I knew we were going to get married. He hates it when I say that, but I did. We've been through a lot together and the thing is that we've gotten through the hard times together. We've never really been apart and we've stuck it out through the moments that should have/could have broken us. I think that there has always been a certain denial that we could ever not be together.

There are so many things to be grateful for about him and there's no way to completely sum up what a good husband he is. And what a great father he is. Our kids are infinitely lucky to have him as a father and they will never appreciate it because they won't know any different. And that is fine. It's the way it should be. I take for granted the things he does; the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning. But I'm occasionally reminded when talking to other ladies and they are always impressed that he does all that. I cannot imagine a husband that does not participate in the household chores or that doesn't do anything for the children. My husband does all that. He wouldn't even consider that it wasn't part of his life. So, day 25 and every other day, I am always always grateful for my husband.

Day 24: Play time (The Grateful Project)

Sometimes I feel like I'm too busy doing things for my kids rather doing things with them. Someone always seems to need something or the laundry needs to be done or the floors need to be sweep or someone is hungry, tired, thirsty, having emotional problems, etc. So it's always nice when I can just stop and focus on playing with them. Yesterday we went to an outdoor flea market for a little Christmas shopping (mostly I ended up with bows for Button) and then we went home. The weather was beautiful if a bit chilly but Button loves to be outside so we went and played in the yard for a while. Then I thought it would be fun if we went to park so we drove over the the nearest park and played there for a while. It was nice. We had a good time on the slides and playing in the dirt (Button) and with sticks (both). After that, we went home where I had to do some housework. But still I enjoy the moments when I can just play and have fun with my kids.

Day 23: Privilege (The Grateful Project)

For the last couple of days I've been complaining about the rental, a Dodge Avenger, we were given while my car is being fixed. The truth is it is growing on me. It's not a car I would ever buy but it's not that bad. As my sister-in-law pointed out, there are way worse rental cars. But I was thinking about how I was complaining and how I hate it when people complain about their privilege and here I was complaining about what it is a pretty nice car, just one that is to my own taste. But I only have to drive it for 3 weeks so it's really not worth complaining about. And while I wouldn't say I've been complaining loudly and bitterly I haven't been completely happy about it. But I need to shut up. Because I am very privileged to even get a rental car and to have my car fixed at all. Some people don't get that. It could have been so much worse all around. Button or BT could have been injured. The guy could have not had insurance. It could have been bad insurance. So what if I have to drive this car? At least I get a car while my car is being fixed.

(I will post Day 24 either later today or tomorrow).

Day 22: A level head

I was thanked, at work, for having a level head. Without too much detail, let me just say that sometimes situations develop in the workplace where emotions run high and interpersonal conflicts happen. I've surprisingly developed a good management style and I have great conflict management skills. So we had a meeting to talk about a few issues that have cropped up in our departmental librarian program and in that meeting a few other (unrelated) issues were brought up. I was later thanked by the assistant dean of public services for my level head. I've never thought of myself as a level headed person. My emotions tend to run pretty high but something happens at work. I believe in maintaining decorum and also in remembering that it is just work. We're not saving lives here. A few mistakes are not that big a deal. And questions are always good. A program can't evolve without questions and mistakes. So today I am grateful for the compliment. I like thinking I have a level head and more than that I like the senior librarians thinking I have a level head.

Day 20 and 21: BT and feeling better (The Grateful Project)

Yesterday I went back to work after being off for 3 days with the sickness and dealing with my car. BT has been really wonderful about getting the car to the body shop and taking care of the rental and the insurance and all that. So for that, on day 20, I will say that I am grateful that my husband is taking car of this whole car wreck fiasco and getting things moving in the right direction. I haven't had to do anything which is a relief.

And, for today, I am grateful for feeling better. I feel so much better today than I did yesterday and infinitely better than I felt on Sunday. It sometimes takes me a while to get over being sick especially the older I get. I am not a good sick person and this time was even harder because I had two sick kids to deal with and that is no good. But anyway, I am finally feeling better.

Day 19: The Driveway (The Grateful Project)

Five 1/2 years ago  when we moved into our house, my husband was driving his late grandfather's Plymouth Breeze which promptly broke down shortly after. BT was going to donate it but he'd lost the title. And 4 years later it is still sitting in our driveway. BT is, well shall we say, a procrastinator. Finally, finally he has become proactive and lately has been on the ball. It's strange but I'm not complaining. So today I am grateful, nay thankful, for that freaking car finally being towed away and getting that patch of my driveway of my back. Now we can play in the whole driveway and park in the whole driveway. It is glorious. And best of all, BT finally did something we've all been asking him to do for a very long time.

Goodbye car. I hated you for so long and now you are gone.

Day 17 and 18: Hot tea and naps (The Grateful Project)

Sorry. I didn't realize I'd be so bad at this. We had kind of bad weekend around here. Everyone but BT is sick. Bub had strep throat and was home from school Thursday and Friday. Button has a cold with double ear infections and I have a sinus infection that is just wiping me out. On top of that when BT was coming home from bringing Button to the doctor on Saturday, he was rear-ended by a guy who somehow failed to notice of at least 4 cars waiting to get into the roundabout. So my car is all messed up. Plus we didn't get to go to the Christmas event we always go to since Bub was 1. So we missed for the first time in 5 years thanks to being sick. It sucks. Now I'll have to figure a new place to get Santa pictures, preferably not at the mall. Anyway, I'm trying to find a small moment to be grateful for in the midst of all of this.

So, Day 17, I am grateful for hot tea for a sore throat. Seriously, this illness is kicking my butt and I am missing too much work for this late in the year especially with having a presentation to do next week, but you really have to take care of yourself first. My cough and runny nose have made my throat so sore but hot drinks especially tea have really been helping.

Day 18 I am grateful for toddler naps even if they come too late. Button doesn't let being sick slow her down, that's for sure. I've been trying to get her to take a nap most of the day but she won't do it. We watched a movie in my bed as a last resort and she stayed up to see it. Then she put on a learning Leapfrog movie and passed out... 15 minutes before we need to leave to go get her brother. But she is finally sleeping. A toddler without a nap is a terrible thing. A sick toddler without a nap is even worse. Luckily my mom is going to go get him so I won't have to wake her up. If only she's slept earlier so I could have too. *sigh*

Day 16: Christmas money (The Grateful Project)

Back when I started my job with the university I started a Christmas Club fund. My parents always had one when I was growing up and more than once my mom remark on how great it was. The fact that Bub's birthday is also in December adds to the amount of money we have to spend. So when the opportunity arose I started a fund and it has been one of the best money decisions I've ever made.

A certain amount of money gets pulled out of my paycheck every month and I budget how much goes to who. And then I have the money to get everyone something nice. Plus we have the money needed for Bub's birthday presents and his party. It's the party that costs the most. So it's nice not having to worry about where the money is going to come from.

Day 15: My aunt (The Grateful Project)

I get along really well with all my aunts but only one of them lives down here by us. I've always enjoyed spending time with her and we get along really well. Plus there is the extra added bonus of the fact that she is retired and can watch Button when the need arises. Like Monday. My mom normally watches the kids in the afternoons but she is really sick right now. So I called my aunt and she came out and watched Button and I picked up Bub. And then again yesterday when my mom turned out to have a touch of pneumonia in one of her lungs so she stayed  home and my aunt came to watch Button while I took Bub to the doctor (he has strep throat). It is so wonderful to have someone to likes to help out and likes spending time with my kids. I know that they love her as much as I do.

Day 14: Flexibility

Today I am grateful for flexibility at work. I have a set schedule and, yes, I have to take my time so it's not like flex time. But the dean of my library is a family man and he basically told me in my interview that he knows that my family is first and my work is second and to take care of my kid first and not to worry about here. I think he meant it because I've never been given a hard time for having kids, not even when I got pregnant and was gone for 8 weeks. It's good that my job is tech services in this case. I think it's easy when you are tied to a desk schedule or doing public work.

Day 12 and 13: Creativity and a Warm Home (The Grateful Project)

Yeah, yeah I know. I am not doing well with this. I meant to write yesterday but by the time I got the kids to bed I was pretty eager to get my own.

Day 12: I love making things and I am grateful to have the talent for it. I guess if I didn't have talent I wouldn't love it. But, at any rate, I do like being crafty and having the ability to make things for other people. I get real joy when someone likes what I've made for them.

Day 13: I am grateful for a nice warm house. It's pretty cold right now especially for around here and I know that I am lucky to have my own warm home. I know a lot of people don't have that and I can't imagine what it is like for them.

Day 11: 2 Things (The Grateful Project)

Today I am grateful for two things. First, on a personal level, I am grateful that the book sale is over. Every year I get so stressed out but for the most part I have every thing running smoothly and it usually goes off without a hitch. It's just so much and I begin to resent all the other librarians who don't have to deal with it. Also I hurt myself moving stuff around for it and I'm still feeling the pain of that. It went really well and I think it was my most successful sale so far.

And second, since it is Veteran's Day, allow me to say that I am grateful for the men and women who have served or are serving our country. Truly they need more than a day for everyone to say thank you. But thank you for your courage and self-sacrifice.

Day 10: End of Soccer (The Grateful Project)

Today I am grateful for the last soccer game this year. I know yesterday I was grateful for team sports but I am mostly grateful today for getting my Mondays and weekends back. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy watching him play and think it's good for him to participate in team sports. He's getting good at soccer and seems to have a natural instinct for it. But Mondays are the night he has the most homework and it was a struggle to get everything done without losing my mind. So while I enjoy Bub's sports, I'm also happy to get a break for right now. We can start again in the spring.

Day 8 and 9: Soccer and Weather (The Grateful Project)

This book sale and soccer tournament are consuming my time right now. Yesterday I worked a long day and then went to a soccer game. Anyway.

Day 8: I am grateful for being healthy enough to play soccer. Not me obviously. But for having a son who is not only healthy enough to play soccer but is actually pretty good at it. He seems to have an instinct for where to be on the field. I know he didn't get that from me. I enjoy watching his team play and he is doing a great job.

Day 9: Beautiful weather. Seriously it is gorgeous right now. This is the best time of year in south Louisiana. It's what I call "not hot" weather. Because weather down here is basically hot and not hot. It is lovely right now, perfect for doing outdoor activities.

Day 6 and 7: Good Workers and Cool Mornings (The Grateful Project)

I missed yesterday. I knew what I wanted to write about, but one of my biggest responsibilities at work is the annual book sale and yesterday was set-up day as well as the preview sale. So by the time I got home I was exhausted and didn't feel like doing much of anything.

So for yesterday, I am grateful for people who are willing to hard work. I have a staff of 4 and they always manage to step up when it comes time to get the book sale done. I am so happy that I have a group of people that know when it's time to get things ready even though it's a lot to do. But they always get it done (even if they don't seem to remember what to do and I have to give a lot of instructions).

And for today, I am grateful for bread pudding coffee and a brisk morning. It's a cooler morning today and I love that. The time of "not hot" in south Louisiana is short so I appreciate a brisk morning. Plus yesterday I bought some bread pudding flavored coffee and it turns out to be pretty good. A nice way to start the day off.

Day 5: Chances (The Grateful Project)

Today I am grateful for multiple chances. I am  not always a good, kind, patient mother. Heck, I am not always a good, kind, patient person but I feel like my children especially shouldn't suffer because I am in a bad mood or they are annoying me. I try to be patient. I strive to be patient. There are many ways in which I am a great mother every day but sometimes my actions or tone or words don't always reflect that. But the great thing about life is getting the chance to do better the next time. To be a better person and a better mother when faced with situations that try me. So I am grateful for those chances and the people that are willing to give them to me.