Now we are complete

We were always going to have 2 kids. That was decided long ago and was one of the first things we discussed back when we were only dating and only 21. The deal was, for me, two kids or two pregnancies, however that worked out. We had our boy and it was lovely and he is lovely but then one day it was time to have another one. We decided on a date in 2010. But that day came and I wasn't ready. So we pushed it back a year. And after two months of trying I was pregnant with the baby girl.  And now, today, she is one year old and it has been an amazing year.

I had an unplanned c-section with Bub and I debated on a VBAC with Button. But in the end the idea of going through labor just to end up in surgery again did not appeal to me. It was possible that it could have gone right and I could have had the VBAC but I just couldn't deal with it if it had gone the other way. So really it was pretty undramatic, exactly what you want out of a birth.

I was originally scheduled to have Button on March 27th but the hospital said no because of my original due date. Based on my doctor's original calculations he put me on April 4th but later after her ultrasound he moved it up a day. But because of the original date I would have been 38 weeks and 6 days so it was no go with the hospital. So the surgery was moved back to March 28th much to my disappointment. One day really didn't matter but at the time I was in so much pain I was just done and ready to get her out.  The surgery was scheduled for noon but the hospital saw that my doctor had two short surgeries in the morning and thought he might be able to get to me earlier so they had me go in at 8 a.m. instead of 10. It was a long wait because when my doctor came in he said no, it wouldn't be til 12.

We got there at 8 and did the check-in and then went to pre-op. I waited in there for 4 hours which was a long time and it was cold. I also felt stupid because I had on my gown and these socks and pressure cuffs on my legs and I was hooked up to an IV. They gave me some anti-nausea medicine and started my saline. And then we waited and waited and waited so more. The anesthesiologist came and introduced himself but mostly we watched TV and nurses brought me warm blankets. Then it was time. They took me to the OR and BT stayed behind to get his gear on.

The anesthesiologist who had come in earlier wasn't the one who was with me. I had a nurse anesthetist who was very funny. When the anesthesiologist came to check on him, the nurse joked that he was getting better at these things. Later, BT said he saw the anesthesiologist wandering around drinking a Diet Coke so really I'm not sure what his function really was. The nurse anesthetist explained the spinal block to me and told me he was going to administer it and he calmed me down when I told him I was nervous. See I always said an epidural wasn't bad because by the time I got it I was in so much pain I barely noticed it. But to have a needle in my back stone cold sober, I just didn't know. It wasn't bad really. I hate that warmth that spreads and, just like last time, I panicked for a moment when I felt my body going numb. He said that I had to lay down quickly so the medicine would spread evenly, but I was 39 weeks pregnant. There was no "quickly" so the nursing staff helped me. My blood pressure dropped as is common with epidurals and spinals. They gave me more anti-nausea medicine and the nurse anesthetist put a cold compress on my forehead because I had cold sweats. He was really great. The nursing staff complimented me on my skin's ability to heal nicely because my first c-section scar was barely noticeable. Thanks?

Finally the doctor came in and introduced me to the other doctor assisting. I felt the pressure and the tugging but that was about it. It seemed like it took forever. And then out she came screaming like she was the maddest girl. My doctor said "Look at those cheeks!" And I thought I can't! This sheet is in the way. And then he said "Look at the size of her chest!" And the nurse anesthetist then joked that I'd given birth to a toddler. She was still screaming mad and then finally finally they brought her to me. I looked at her and she had the chubbiest cheeks and was she ever angry at being pulled from her warm safe dark place into this bright and cold world. I said "Hey, hey little girl. I see you" and she stopped crying trying to hear and see me. And then I fell in love. She was practically perfect in every way.

BT took her to the nursery and they finished me up while I fell asleep. Later in post op I asked for her and one of the lactation staff brought her to me and kind of stuck her on me (at least that is what it felt like) to nurse. They said it was about 20 minutes but time was a little weird for me then. So I got to hold her and nurse her about an hour after her birth which was way better than the hours it took to get Bub back to me. Later they bought me to my room and then a few hours later brought her to us so she could meet her big brother and we could begin our life together as a family.

And then we had everything

So six years ago I did one of the most amazing things I've ever done in my life and gave birth to my beautiful and sweet boy. It's hard to believe he is already six whole years. It went by too fast. Now he is not my baby but a big boy. I thought I'd share his birth story for his birthday today. When I was pregnant and ladies would tell me their birthing stories, I did wonder why so many mothers like to tell their stories, but once I had him I realized it's because you have done something extraordinary.  You have carried and birthed a whole other human person.  A real live human has just emerged from your body, which seems so crazy that it is amazing.

So here is that the story of me and a boy and what it took to get him out into the world.

He was one week late. I worked up to my due date which was on a Friday but that last week I only did half days because I couldn't stand to be at work longer. I remember working on my due date and someone asked when I was due. I growled at them "Today!"  and then they went away and left me alone. I think I scared them. I had a week off before he came which was just completely awesome in retrospect but at the time I just wanted him to come out. I played video games while bouncing on my birthing ball. When I laid down and put the controller on my stomach he kicked it off. We had a lot of fun with that.

Anyway.

On the Wednesday after my due date I went to the doctor and we scheduled an induction for the following Friday. It was nice to finally have a real date of arrival. We went in on Thursday night at 7. It was suppose to be 6 but I got confused so we were late. We did all the check-in stuff and they showed me to my room. Around 9, they put in a half a pill to soften my cervix because I was 0% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated. Contractions started faintly after this. Around midnight or so they put in the other half and started the Pitocin drip. This may be when the nurse broke my water. Details start to get fuzzy around this time. Contractions began to get strong. I really wanted a natural birth so I walked around trying to get through it. At some point I asked for a pain killer to take away some of the pain. I got a little sleep. Later I had it again but it begins to lose its effectiveness after the first time so it didn't help as much. My contractions never evened out. They are suppose to come in waves with a valley and a peak. I never really got to the valley. I was constantly contracting though never "big" ones. I never got a break. The baby's heartbeat was up and down. Sometime in the afternoon, I told the nurse that an epidural would be good. She agreed and so the anesthesiologist came in to administer it. BT got to stay in the room with me which was good. I'm not a huge fan of needles but when you are in that much pain you really don't care.

So blessedly, and finally, relief came and I got some sleep. Meanwhile Bub's heartbeat was still erratic and he couldn't seem to drop down into my pelvis. They put a fetal scalp electrode on him. Basically he couldn't get out and my body wasn't helping. In the end I never dilated past 6 cm. He was in distress. The doctor came in and called for a c-section. I was relieved. I was pretty much just done by then. The anesthesiologist came in and administered a second epidural to prepare me for surgery. I was shaking and shivering from it. So into the OR we went, BT coming a little later. I remember saying I couldn't breathe so they gave me oxygen. I'm pretty sure this was from the blood pressure drop that comes from an epidural. It didn't take them long to get the baby out. Maybe 10 minutes after I got in. I think it was a little more serious than I thought at the time. So out he came crying. He didn't cry long. There was too much to see. He was born nosy. I cried when I heard him. I kept asking how was he? BT said he was beautiful. And he was.

He went to the nursery. They finished my surgery. I fell asleep. Morphine is a wonderful thing. Later they bought my lovely boy to me. It wasn't the birthing experience I had pictured in my head. But it was the little boy I'd been hoping for and, in the end, I think that is what matters.

C-section vs. VBAC

The birth of my son ended in a c-section. I really wanted a natural childbirth but after needing induction to get labor started combined with his erratic heartbeat and no progression I ended up with a c-section. Pretty much the exact opposite of what I had in mind. But c'est la vie. While it was not ideal, I was grateful at the time to get the whole thing over with. Labor hurts, y'all. So I'm up in the air about what to do next. Another c-section would be the easiest but I still have in my mind the idea that I want to experience actual delivery. Mostly what I care about is getting the baby out and having a healthy one. I really think that recovery from a c-section would be easier this time without the 14 hours of labor attached. Of course, I am planning an epidural this time around anyway. I have done the labor with contractions, etc and so I don't feel like getting an epidural would deny me any experiences. In fact, it sounds like a good idea. My doctor says it is up to me which is pretty awesome but at the same time that means I have a decision to make. Even though this birth is looming over me getting much much closer everyday I can't decide what to do. Right now I'm at the comprise stage. Schedule the c-section for 40 weeks and then if I go into labor earlier then try for a VBAC. It's like making a decision without having to really make the decision.