Friday, March 8, 2013

Faux family

The other day I was on a parenting website reading an article by a mom of one, soon to be a mom of two. She was basically talking about loving her job AND her family and making both work. It's a nice article by one of my favorite mommy bloggers. AND then I read the comments. Seriously, I have got to stop reading the comments. Because one commenter basically said that by putting your kid in daycare you are missing a chunk of their day and are therefore not a real family. Huh?

I guess in this person's world Moms stay home with kids and Dads go out and earn the money. And that is fine if you can make it work for you. I think most parents would ideally like to have one parent home with their child, Mom OR Dad. But if you can't and baby has to go to a daycare it doesn't make you less of a family. My mother worked on and off when I was growing up. I doubt it ever entered anyone's mind that we might not be a real family. Bub went to daycare when he was 10 months. He was watched my mom until then. So were we a real family then? He wasn't with a stranger. But he wasn't with a parent either. Where is the logical conclusion to this person's thinking. There isn't one. Because it's crazy.

The structure of the Family is something that is ever evolving. The Mom/Dad ratio is changing. Sometimes one of each, sometimes two of each, sometimes just one of either. And it's OK. It's OK for everyone's family to be different and to work differently. And sometimes someone can stay home with Baby and sometimes Baby goes to daycare. But Daycare is not raising baby. Parents raise babies, daycares watch them.

It's just like anything when raising a child. You seek out the best. You want the best. You do what you can for this person that you are responsible for. And if Baby has to go to daycare or mother's day out or grandma's house to be watched because both parents have to work then it doesn't make you less of a family. There is no less of a family. There is only family.

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