Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Worthwhile

Homework is a serious source of frustration at my house. Serious. It's hard to get an ADHD child to focus on his work. He needs to move. He needs to tell me as many stories as he can rather than write his spelling words. He needs to complain about how much work he has to do. I get it. I do. But I just want to get through it, to get it over with and done. I don't have the best attitude about homework frankly. And I know I'm suppose to be the example and to be his cheerleader. I try. I do. But it's frustrating. And on top of that, I've got Button who is either upset that most of the attention is being paid to big brother and so cries for my attention and then proceeds to get into everything in the pencil box when I pick her up. Or she realizes that she is not the center of attention and proceeds to use that time to wreak havoc while my attention is focused elsewhere. Case in point last night we were doing fairly well going through homework (why does a 1st grader have so much?). She realizes this is her moment and decides to go through the liquor cabinet, pulling out crystal candle holders and gnawing on the candles. And every time I said her name, she smiled and put them back... until I looked back to Bub. Then she'd do it again. She was pretty pissed when I put a hair band around the knobs so she couldn't open it anymore.

I honestly really need another adult home at night. I'm not sure how single moms do it all the time. I have such respect for them. Because even though 5 out 7 nights I'm on my own with them, BT is there for the other 2 nights and that really helps out. Both for the kids and my sanity. But that hasn't happened yet so wishing does me no good. It also doesn't help that Button is the littlest bully. I had to put her to bed last night so the dogs could eat. Because she took the bowl away from the big dog and then went and kicked the bowl the little dog was eating from out of his way. She is a mess. That's the thing about toddlers. You can't turn your back for a second but I feel like I'm either ignoring one or the other. If I focus on her all the time, then Bub gets neglected and I don't want that. I guess that's a balance most mothers of two or more have to find. Spending enough time with each child but not ignoring the other. A lot of moms worry about not loving the second one as much as the first. Because how can you love someone that much and turn around and do it again? You just can. That was never my worry. I knew I had enough love to go around. My worry was and still is time. How to find enough time when there isn't much to go around already. I have 3 hours at night for suppers, baths, homework, bedtime stories. I need a time turner or something.

But despite these frustrations and more to come as she gets older and starts to have activities too plus school in 3/4 years, it is all worthwhile. Even when I have had enough of them and wishing the age of safe haven laws extended beyond 30 days, the hugs and kisses and the I love you Moms make up for it. I remember one time when Bub was being ridiculous and we'd had enough of him. Then he turned around and threw his arms around me and gave me a kiss.  And BT said "There he goes, making it all worthwhile."

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