Thursday, January 16, 2014

A lesson in responsibility

I have a tendency to just do for Bub. I cajole him every morning into getting out of bed, into eating his breakfast, into getting dressed, into getting him into the car. Basically most of my morning is spent saying "Now you need to do this and then this and then this" over and over again. It was easier when he was a baby/toddler. I had to dress him and feed him. It was easier when he was a preschooler because even though he could dress himself I still felt like it was okay to do as much as I could for him to smooth the morning over. I spoiled him and it shows. But I'm tired now and he's at the age where he knows how the morning should go. He knows the routine. It's the same routine since he started school, since he started daycare actually. So I told him yesterday after getting fed up with repeating myself 5 times in a row. From now on he is responsible for his morning routine. I'll still get him up and give him his medicine and I'll give him time warnings but I'm not going to tell him what to do. He knows what to do. I expect him to do it.

This morning didn't go so well. First he refused to get out of bed till I dragged him out. Then he laid on the sofa till I gave a 10 minute warning and that's when he finally got dressed. And this was where I made a mistake. He wanted cereal and I gave it to him. Now I know how long it takes that child to eat a bowl of cereal and sure enough the time came and he had barely gotten into it. But I took it away and then went and found his glasses (on the floor *sigh*). I told him I was going out to the car. All he had to do was put on his shoes, grab a jacket, and his backpack and get out of the door. I waited a good while. He finally came out messing with the zipper. He'd been in the house finding a jacket and then trying to get it zipped. Great. Now we were really late and all on account of a zipper. We might have made it to the bus stop on time if there hadn't been a line of traffic and someone who refused to take a right turn out even when it was clear. I'm not sure what was happening in that car but it took forever to move and so we missed the bus. I followed the bus to the next stop but he missed it there too (despite getting out of the car and running, the driver didn't see him) so I sort of blindly followed the bus and he got it at the next stop. All of this making me 30 minutes late to work. In the meantime, I noticed Bub was not wearing his glasses. Where are the glasses? He forgot them. And that's when I lost it. I was already following the damn bus around town. I handed him his glasses. He put them down to get a jacket. Why didn't he put them on his face!? He didn't know. I told him I was really angry at him. First the bus, now the glasses. I expect better of him tomorrow.

So really who was at fault? Me for expecting a smooth morning the first time I put this much responsibility for his morning routine on him? Him for ignoring me all this time? Both probably. Tomorrow I will put a jacket out for him so he sees it right away. I will make sure his glasses are on his face and I will either make him eat in the car or get breakfast at school if there is only 5 minutes left. But I will again leave the rest up to him. I won't be able to do it all for him forever and it's time he learned to handle this.

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