Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Dollhouses

My son likes to play with dollhouses.  He likes to play with dolls and pretend to cook.   He walks around in my heels sometimes.  He likes to watch Dora the Explorer.  He is 3 years old and I let him to all these things.  Because I cannot imagine taking away a doll and saying "No, you are a boy.  Boys do not do these things."  I will not take any of these things away from him.  And to my husband's credit, he will not either.  I want Bub to grow up well rounded.  I want him to be nurturing and understanding.  I want him to be willing to cook and clean.  But I also want him to be masculine.  I want him to watch sports and mow the lawn.

At our house, BT does all the cooking and he cleans up the kitchen afterwards.  He started doing the laundry and he mows the lawn and does the yardwork.  I clean the house and keep track of everyone's stuff and if someone is sick I take care of them.  These are jobs that we assigned ourselves, some out of pleasure for the task, some because of what our gender has demanded of us.  And that's okay.  These are things we have to do to live in a comfortable life.  And I want Bub to have that life.

I can't understand parents who pigeon hole their children into one role.  Men do this and women do this and that is that.   Why would you limit your child like that?  What if you son wants to be a cheerleader and your daughter a football player?  Why would you, as the parent, tell them no?  Don't be the one limiting your kid.  Society will do that enough in life.

So on any given day, I can play cook with Bub.  He can "help" me clean and play with his aunt's dollhouse.  Then we can run around and play golf and baseball and we can all take turns playing with his dad's new Nerf gun.  I wouldn't take away these experiences for anything.  Because one day he just won't want to anymore and I'm taking what I get now.

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