Being a parent means having to say things that you never thought you'd have to say

I find myself the mother of a very creative and occasionally wild 3 year old.  And I find myself having to say things that common sense says should never really need to be said.  But 3 year old.
My new current favorites are:

"Don't put your [naked] booty on the dog."

"Don't put your cheese on the door. No, you can't eat it now. It's been on the door."

Have you ever had to say something to your child that, when you stepped back, you thought "I never thought I'd have to say THAT aloud?"  Tell me about it.