Thursday, August 19, 2010

What is the hardest thing you've ever had to learn?

In looking for a topic for today's blog, I perused some blog writing prompts and one asked the question: What is the hardest thing you've ever had to learn?  That is a very good question.  Honestly, the answer is when to keep my mouth shut.  See I am very opinionated and I have a quick temper and when I get fired up I just say all kinds of things that would be better left in my brain.  I got into a lot of trouble at my last job.  The director and I generally got along but when we didn't, whoa, was it a problem and the last person you should fight with is your boss.  She is a nice lady and I'm a nice lady but we had our moments and I had/have many opinions on her management style and some of the shenanigans that go on at that library.  In the end, I began to make myself miserable.  I couldn't stand the awfulness of how grown women behave and I began to mistrust every single person in that library, even the assistant director who threw me under the bus on several occasions.  So I walked away, well I quit after finding another job, but same thing.  The stress of being on the reference desk, not to mention the only reference librarian in the whole parish, of dealing with an assistant who hated me, of the backbiting and gossiping.  I didn't like who I had become.  It was too much.  I wanted to be a better person, not a bitter bitch.

Since then I have found that kind of behavior will go on in every workplace and at my current job I have found to keep to myself and to be the bigger person.  Lately though my supervisor has been giving me hell and assistant #1 has been causing trouble and so I have been speaking to some of my co-workers about it.  Sometimes I walk away wishing I hadn't said anything, but there is one person here who is a great listener and gives good feedback.  It's important to find someone like that.  My husband will listen to me complain but he is a straight up business manager type and for him it is all cut and dry.  But he has the luxury of working in the private sector while I get to deal with the great state of Louisiana and its civil service guidelines.  But having someone who knows the people and has been around a lot longer than me has been a good thing. 

2 comments:

  1. I think I'm the opposite. The hardest thing I've ever had to learn is how to speak up for myself, especially in this family!

    (Although, I often suffer from foot-in-mouth-syndrome. It doesn't so much get me in trouble as much as it embarrasses me or someone I know. Let's face it, I'm a bit of a blather mouth!)

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  2. @Katy - I went through an "honesty phase" when I was around 21 or so where I kept telling everyone my honest opinion and I made a lot of my family mad. Not that I'm a liar now, but I've finally learned (I hope) when to not talk out loud. But it's always good to have someone who won't judge you when you need to get it out and that is what BT is good at doing for me and vice versa.

    Sometimes though esp. with certain members of my family and my in-laws (and you know who I'm talking about) I have a hard time with that.

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