Saturday, April 20, 2013

On community parenting boards

Both times I was pregnant I got really into BabyCenter. I love their email updates and it was nice to find the birthing board. With Button, I added the Bump but didn't read it quite as much. While I am not much of commenter I liked reading people's opinions of having to X or Y. Sometimes people give well thought out and researched opinions on say circumcising or breastfeeding, sometimes not. I find as the internet becomes more "open" it's mostly not. I'm trying to learn not to read the comments on news articles. People get stupid in the comments. Most of the time anytime I read a parenting article especially on a polarizing topic I try not to read the comments. People are vicious

Knowing this I decided to visit a birth club board anyway. I haven't been on a birth club board on either site since Button was born. I saw a lot of OMG I can't believe they are 1! posts and then things started to take a turn. Because I managed to find the car seat thread and it got ugly fast on there. Women accusing other women of not caring about their baby's safety for wanting to turn the car seat around at 2. Women claiming they will keep their 4 year rear facing. Apparently you can't just agree to disagree. First you have to accuse the other of not loving their child. It's weird and I was reminded why I don't visit these sites anymore. Motherhood is a passionate state of being. I get that. I'd sacrifice just about anyone for my kids (sorry). But why would I care if you don't like that my less than 40 pound child is forward facing? Seriously. While you may care so so much about this topic, getting vicious and saying pretty horrible things over car seats is not going to change anyone's mind. Maybe there is a better outlet for your emotional state or a better topic worthy of such maliciousness; people who harm small children or animals for example.

But maybe it might be better to keep in my mind that most parents are doing the best they can. It's a struggle for everyone and we all want to make the right choice. But my right choice and your right choice might be different. And because we have different lives and different children and different circumstances, I would venture to say that doing what's right for one person is not right for another. So if someone disagrees with you over some parenting issues, deal with it and know that everyone really is trying. And it might be better to stay off the parenting boards. I know I am.

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